Monkey In the Middle

I am stuck in the middle looking out for everyone else. I am in the middle and no one is looking out for me. I am run over time after time like a dead animal on the side of the road nobody seems to notice. Huh. Dead. Death. I am dead inside and nobody cares enough to see. I am the watcher. No one will watch me. My life was made into existence for the sole reason of prolonging someone else’s. I now know the only emotions I will be facing is numbness in my attempts to avoid stressing my life to be a crutch for yours.


Every breath. Every word. Every step. Every day. It all ends up the same. Painful. every day I wake up with a fear of facing people. What will they say? What will they think? What will happen to me. I am worthless, hopeless, useless, pointless. There is no point in acting like everything is okay, when it is not. I hate waking up and having to look in the mirror and see myself. See how much of a failure I am. I know that when I walk in to school that everyone else, will be thinking the same thing, and I have to act like everything is alright. Like I am perfectly fine and they do not faze me one bit. But they do. I am eternally and hopelessly dead. To myself and everyone else. But why do I have to keep pretending? Why should I continue to be in so much pain? Why should I stay, when leaving is so much easier? On myself and everyone else around me. It is pointless and so am I.