The Only Thing On My Mind

It has become a nightly thing now. The tears. The clawing. The silent screams. I am falling into old habits and it hurts like hell. All of the things I have been running from for so long, I am beginning to run into. My head hurts. The headaches come so easily now. It is like they barely ever go away. Why does it hurt so bad? Why do I miss you so much? I wish I could let go. More than anything. Well, maybe I want to talk to you more than I want to get over the fact that I can’t. I do not know what to do with myself. I am running in circles. In the entire day, nothing matters, it all leads up to the moment when I crawl into bed and turn out the lights and the demons spill out of my mouth and envelope me in darkness. Have you noticed that I am dying? ¬†Should I tell you?