Your Baggage

You were the friend I thought my children were going to call aunt. The one that made me believe soul mates weren’t always romantic. The one I was so sure knew far to much about me to ever let go, but I guess there is always a time to let go. For as long as I have known you I have watched out for you. I have loved you like a little sister and spared my own feelings to comfort and take care of you. I felt like you were my responsibility. That everything you felt was my job enhance or detract. Any pain you ever felt I did my best to take away. All I ever wanted was to take it all away. Similar to the law of conservation of mass…I have a similar theory. That pain cannot be created or destroyed. It is simply transfered from hosts. You see, when I took your pain away there was no where to put it. The only option was to bear the weight of it myself. The problem is, you began to offload your problems onto me. I became the place you unloaded your baggage and then walked away. You left me when I needed you. I did everything I could and when I needed you and I told you I needed you, you couldn’t have cared less. I broke. You broke me. funny thing is, I thought that would make me stronger. Allow me to walk away and not get caught back in the trap of someone requiring me to be the host for their pain, but it didn’t. I am not as willing anymore, but moments later I will give and offer my hands to take the worry. I want nothing more than to remove this burden from myself, but I would rather be crawling under the weight than to give any of it to someone else. I would rather see you happy than to worry about my own happiness. I’m afraid that will never change but I am willing to try and make it. You aren’t the only one who has used me like this but you are the beginning of the end. It’s time you take back your baggage and carry it yourself because if you leave, you aren’t leaving it with me anymore. And honey, you already turned your back, now its just time to walk away. This time you can keep the knife out of my back.

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