Cleanse

It’s time. For a long time depression kept you held tightly in its grasp but now you are holding onto it. I guess I understand. It is familiar. It is comfortable. You only know what life is like with depression as your best friend. You have gotten so used to third wheeling with depression and anxiety that you started to bring along self harm so you weren’t the one walking in the grass because there wasn’t enough sidewalk. It is time to make your own path now. These friends are not good ones to hold onto. You know that one girl in elemetary school. When middle school happend you just kinda stoped talking. It wasn’t a bad thing, you just grew apart and you will remember the things you went through together. You are the you that is standing here today becasue of that friend, but it is time to let go. Life has a different path for you now. You are no longer stuck in the darkness. You have to let the sunlight in and stop pulling the blankets over your head. Put the long sleave shirts away. It is time your skin felt the sunlight again. Your depression isn’t holding onto you anymore. You are holding onto it like a kindergartener when their mom drops them off the first day of school. Stop waiting for someone to come pull you into the light. No one is coming because no one can see you. You have to walk out of your room on your own. With your own feet. By your own will. You have to go and see life for what it is. You can be happy, but you have to choose to be. You have to stop choosing to be sad, to be stuck. For so long it controlled your life, but you have the controls now and you have to run before it comes back, before you run out of time becasue God knows you don’t have much time before you lose control again. You have lingered in the shadows for far too long. They have contaminated your eyes, your lungs, your heart, but a little light can bleach all of that away, but it can only do that with your consent. Life gave you the the key to the chains around your wrists and you are the only one that knows how to use it.  The light cannot cleanse a soul that does not want to be touched. Open yourself to happiness because it is time you smiled again.

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