I am not exactly sure what I am feeling, but my chest hurts. In excitement, in fear, in anticipation. I thought it would make me feel whole again but somehow I got shoved into this anticipation loop where I never know what to expect. It used to be so easy and comfortable but for some reason, it is like you are a stranger and I get nervous to talk to you. However, I am strangely content for the moment. I know you are doing alright. I know that if you do not reply I did not waste my time just wondering if you would. I know. I miss you and my chest is an endless abyss with nothing to fill it, but you are okay. You are good.