leave the lights on

It is all alright until the lights go out. When I turn the lights off, my mind runs crazy. Everything I once knew becomes a lie. It begins to fill with strange realities that I wish to be nightmares. Nothing seems real, but at the same time, it is all too real. Can you imagine your fondest memories of the day and it all being consumed by black shadows and darkness. My mind is overcome with monsters, demons, and all my greatest fears. It is a scary place to be, your own mind. You are stuck, trapped, with no one to help you out. You are stuck to save yourself.


Every breath. Every word. Every step. Every day. It all ends up the same. Painful. every day I wake up with a fear of facing people. What will they say? What will they think? What will happen to me. I am worthless, hopeless, useless, pointless. There is no point in acting like everything is okay, when it is not. I hate waking up and having to look in the mirror and see myself. See how much of a failure I am. I know that when I walk in to school that everyone else, will be thinking the same thing, and I have to act like everything is alright. Like I am perfectly fine and they do not faze me one bit. But they do. I am eternally and hopelessly dead. To myself and everyone else. But why do I have to keep pretending? Why should I continue to be in so much pain? Why should I stay, when leaving is so much easier? On myself and everyone else around me. It is pointless and so am I.